Expect the Unexpected (>,O)

Well, okay so I've experienced a lot of ups and downs here in Canada. . . >,O People might thought "Owh man she's having a blast in Vancouver. Weehee~" :D or, "I wanna be like her", "Man, I can't wait to fly too" etc22. . .

"but yaw~ REALITY CHECK people!"

The thing about studying overseas, you really need to know the purpose why you're here. I mean, if you're here just to have fun, and show off to people "We got snow here! Tralalalala~ :3 " then, forget it. =.= *serious tone* lol. No pressure, but really. *serious tone-again* =..=

So the reason why I'm writing this post here today is coz 1. my brain is stuck with all the homework and assignments that I've gone through *Brain: Have some mercy Mira, I'm about to explodeeeee. . . .  . D:) Moi: Fine22. We should take a break. how bout we go and stalk people on fb? (kidding! lol.)* and 2. I just feel that my world is turning upside down here in a way, really, it's like I'm standing on a round doughnut, and now I'm at the downside up at the bottom part of the doughnut, completely 180 degrees! *well actually not really, I'm just exaggerating using hyperbole for a while there. xD *

My first mid term did not turn out so well as I've expected. And I just feel insecure with the fact that, ouh c'mon Mira, the topics learnt are not all that new?(!) Why aren't you achieving your target?



Is it because you were. . .

Wasting your time too much? -Not really, I rarely go out and go crazy in downtown for a shopping spree and I only go out when I'm free and in need of shopping as a therapy. Also,I only go for

How about Skyping? -Nope. Not at all, I mean, I just Skype sometimes before I go to class or before going to bed. I mean, it wouldn't hurt coz the fact that I'm away from family and friends, Skyping with them seems to be the only way to make me forget my assignments and homework for a while. Plus, they are the source to keep me going.

Facebooking??? -Okay, this one looks as if it is the source of the whole problem here. But wait, I always do this even when I was in CPU! I mean, multitasking is my thing. . . :O It should not be a prob here. I mean, I do my work while I chat *okay. But in reality, you know what REALLY happened. I ended up doing 90% of the chatting and 10% of the work =w= *

Moving on. . . . What are my other flaws. . . hmm~ la lala la laaa~~ *brainstorming*

Facing an inferiority complex?! -What? Really?? Well, you've never imagined yourself in this situation before. It is kinda frustrating being in the class, when sometimes you feel isolated and you just feel that you're not being you? Hurmm.. Could be.. I mean, at this stage, I just feel that I'm deprived of something. But I just could not figure it out. Or it could also be that you're in the stage of still DREAMING that you'd be here when you're actually here?? *what!?* Or MAYBE you're in denial due to the fact that you're already here and you are actually trying to swallow everything in when you got here. *Wow. Never thought I'd come up with that one. lol. But keep vomiting your ideas out Mira, you might bump into something -an answer or a conclusion maybe..:O *

So here's a thing or two that I learnt so far during my 2 months here in Vancouver:

1. Lesbos kissing in front of you in public while you are queuing up waiting for your food is totally normal despite one is White and one is Asian (LOL. I find this rather bizarrely awkward and at the same time funny. Okay, Serious Mira22! >,<*

1. You are not to compare yourself with other people as to what mama and Nina said,
     NOT TO COMPARE AN APPLE TO AN ORANGE.

2. You are to accept the fact that you need HELP.

3. You are to IDENTIFY your weaknesses and improve on them, at the same time KNOW your strengths.

4. You are to keep yourself organized and composed at ALL TIMES. Though sometimes it's OK to actually break down.

5. Always always always keep your head down. Be HUMBLE because God does not like arrogant   
    people. 

6. Don't get distracted with external factors that drives you NUTS!, I mean, that causes you to lose focus. It's okay GOOD to be ambitious, but NOT GOOD to be TOO ambitious ya know what I'm sayin'?
     Ambition without actions is merely a distraction to your actions in achieving your ambition eerk? I know, this one's a bit hard to understand. The sentence is kinda twisted x).

7. Lastly, the final and the most paramount amongst them all. . . Is to know BY HEART and to become
    indulged with the things that you do. DON'T EVER REGRET anything that you did or did not do coz
    for everything that has happened, there must be a reason behind it. Maktub as to what the Arabs say. It's
    all written for you. If you wanna change it, then go after it, as simple as that.

Like what Baba said, perhaps you started off with the wrong foot. There's still hope. And the key is to NOT GIVE UP. 
 

Reflection:

Looking back on this made me REALIZE how hard the students in the last class back in STF struggled for the exams. Yes some of them were laid-back and did not do anything to change it when they had the time, but from what my eyes had seen, I saw MOST of them working their butts off to ace the exams and thank God most of them succeeded. And now I know how difficult it was for them when you actually are doing all you can to get the best results, but turns out your results turn back on you. That is really frustrating. I can tell.

All this while, being their peer mentor, all I did was push them, tell them that they can do it if they set their mind to it, etc. But now I know how it is like to be in their shoes, to be the ones who are STRUGGLING. And I thank God that He made me realize this sooner, (like very very soon in my first term of my first year). It was really an eye opener, a wake up call, telling me that I can't forever stay in my comfort zone, that I have to actually strive to compete with the smart and genius people here for my journey through 4 years here had just begun.

And so, now, I took proactive steps by meeting up with the lecturers; going to the learning centers and seeing my mug leader, Claire to ask her  to seek help; consulting with the seniors, Jannah, Farhanah, Amani, Hakim, Akmal to ask for tips; confiding with my family, Mama, Nina, Baba, and even Mak because they know me best; sharing my probs with my close friends including Abas, Mia and of course the person who writes this blog as well; and above all, to always seek shelter and guidance from God as He is the BEST listener and the only one who won't judge you upon listening to your problems. :'}

 Last one22!

So, being a Petronas scholar, we have 3 chances of screwing up, I repeat, 3 CHANCES ONLY. It looks like a lot but trust me, it's like playing a Super Mario game whereby you can lose your 3 lives at anytime of the day! >,< So in order to keep those chances, you have to make sure that you score a total GPA of 3.00
for each term. Which means *calculate22. 4x2=8, 3 chances, yatta22 probability 3/8* yea, so according to my calculations *if I'm right that is*, we'll get a probability of 0.375 of failing, and we can't afford to not to get 3.00 for the other 0.625. So pray hard Mira I don't wanna be sent back to Malaysia! D; Remember, stay OPTIMISTIC.
InsyaAllah all is well. AMIN~ quoted from? -jeng22..xD




Ganbareba motto dekiru Mira Chan! >,< ignore me cheering for myself. I always do that. It's weird- I know.

Okay now, gotta chiao and get back to CHEM, PHYS and ENGL! xD pray that I don't fall to sleep.
Bubye & Salam peeps~ ^^